The last few years have been hard. Divorce is never easy. I think that the first two years of my separation were the toughest mentally for me.
I believe I am finally reaching a point where my thoughts aren't always destructive. There's a sense of optimism in the future. And while that is a good development for my own mental health, it's an even better one for my children.
I may not be a husband anymore... but, I am still a father.
This past weekend was a mixed bag. I spent Saturday and Sunday with my youngest daughter. We painted. We cooked. We ran around town as I was making extra money. It was the best.
While my time with her was great, I was disappointed because I didn't get to see my son. He's a teenager. He was out with friends all weekend.
In a moment of self-absorbed weakness, I sent him a text I shouldn't have where I tried making him feel guilty for not spending time with me. It's a moment upon self-reflection that proves I am still human. I am imperfect. I am still figuring out how to be a dad after divorce.
Being a dad is humbling. Humility breeds humility. So, I have to apologize to my son and show him we all make mistakes. We all make bad decisions. But, we need to take responsibility when we do and say we're genuinely sorry.
Being vulnerable is hard, but it's showing love to my son.
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