Still Hustling: Never Quit

I set a goal for myself. Through my side hustles I would make $50 a day; I would make $75 a day; I would make $100 a day.

Here I am on a Sunday morning (1:55 a.m.) pushing it. I missed work because of old injuries to my back haunting me again. But... after spending time on bed rest... I have ventured forth again.

I have made $100 a day the last two days in side hustles. Today was very good. I accomplished a lot... and had time to hang out with a friend, share a 6-pack of craft beer and a cigar... then pick up my 17-year-old daughter and run 2 miles with her.

Tomorrow (actually, today since it's the a.m. already) I will accomplish more. I believe in myself. I doubted for too long... Let someone convince me I was inadequate. That's a long story... More on that later.

Hustling: Trying To Make Extra Cash And Paying Bills

So, most of us are tied to a paycheck... a salary.

I am there with you. But... in 2017, I tried cutting that cord. It's been rough.

Now we are in 2018. I'm still hustling. I'm looking for ways to make money on my own. I am presented with a problem because of decisions I made earlier. I'm behind three months on my car payment.

I decided to quit my full-time job (I went part-time). I pursued several side hustles. It was going well for awhile. Then in December.... one of my side hustles tanked. It cost me about $2k for the month of December.

So here I am now... Behind in my bills. But... still fighting. I did the responsible thing. I called the bank and told them where I was... And gave them my plan to catch up with my payments.

It was the hardest call I think I have ever made. To admit your position. To then commit to a plan. It took guts. But... I must say, they were very understanding. Not all lenders may be the same. I can't speak for all of them. My car loan is through Wells Fargo.

I avoided calling them. To confess... it's hard admitting that you can't make a payment. It's embarrassing. Or... maybe it's just me. But... I decided to talk to them.

Really... it's been a relief. For a month I was worried that I would wake up and walk out to the parking lot and find my car gone - repossessed.

Well... I'm sleeping better at night now. I'm still in debt, but my bank knows where I stand, and we have an agreement. The lesson I've learned? Communicate. Reach out.

I have been doing several things to make extra cash. More on that later.

Can I Make $800 In Eight Days?

So... tomorrow... the day after Christmas... I begin a quest.

It's a quest that was born out of necessity. I had a contract fall through. As a mostly self-employed dad who depends on contracts to pay the bills, when one fails to deliver.... that means trouble.

I'm a single dad... I pay child support every month... But... this problem really hurt.

I had a contract that supplied me with about $500 a week. Over the last three weeks.... that contract went bust. Maybe $100 a week at most.

I couldn't even buy my kids a Christmas present. 

Now... I'm forced into a challenge: I need to make $100 a day for the next eight days to pay rent. I have secured a new contract to replace the old one... But... I won't collect that check until mid-January.

So... for the next eight days, I will keep you abreast of my progress...My goal in 2018 is to be able to write full time. 

But before that... I'm going to bust my ascot...Since my unanticipated business mishap also messed up my Christmas, I'm planning my own personal Christmas on Jan. 25, 2018... Hopefully, then, I'll be able to give my kids some presents. 

Fatherhood After Divorce Is Humbling

The last few years have been hard. Divorce is never easy. I think that the first two years of my separation were the toughest mentally for me.

I believe I am finally reaching a point where my thoughts aren't always destructive. There's a sense of optimism in the future. And while that is a good development for my own mental health, it's an even better one for my children.

I may not be a husband anymore... but, I am still a father. 

This past weekend was a mixed bag. I spent Saturday and Sunday with my youngest daughter. We painted. We cooked. We ran around town as I was making extra money. It was the best.

While my time with her was great, I was disappointed because I didn't get to see my son. He's a teenager. He was out with friends all weekend.

In a moment of self-absorbed weakness, I sent him a text I shouldn't have where I tried making him feel guilty for not spending time with me. It's a moment upon self-reflection that proves I am still human. I am imperfect. I am still figuring out how to be a dad after divorce. 

Being a dad is humbling. Humility breeds humility. So, I have to apologize to my son and show him we all make mistakes. We all make bad decisions. But, we need to take responsibility when we do and say we're genuinely sorry.

Being vulnerable is hard, but it's showing love to my son.

The One Thing To Remember About Being A Dad

It's a new year, 2017. And I have realized over the last two weeks what is the one most important thing to remember about being a dad.

If you had asked me what is the one most important thing three years ago, 10 years ago, 15 years ago, I probably would have given you a different answer each time.

But now as my oldest goes off to Europe to study abroad, two others are in high school, one is in junior high and the baby girl is still in elementary school, I know what is most important.

A little context...

My family fractured over the last two years. I don't see my children every day as I used to. Weekends are simply not enough.

I have been on vacation over the holidays. My children went back to school. For the first time in far too long I was able to pick them up from school, make them each a cup of hot cocoa after school. 

Little things... Little moments.... And yet, they had a seismic effect on me. That brings us to the one thing I NOW am dedicated to remembering about being a dad:

Those little moments with your children are fleeting. They come and go far too quickly. Make them your first priority. Think about it like this: Do you want the final video of your life filled with footage of you devoting your most important hours, minutes, seconds to a job or other "important tasks"... or to your children?

It's a no-brainer for me. I miss my children. I have restructured my life in 2017 so that I can devote my important moments to them. 

More in tomorrow's blog post on how I re-organized my life to accomplish my goal of prioritizing those little moments with my kids. 

One Of My Biggest Regrets As A Dad On My Girl's Birthday

One of my baby girls turned 14 today. 

I spent most of the morning with her. She's a soccer player playing competitively here in North Texas. So... I'm up at 5:30 a.m. to drive her 40 minutes to her game.

It's a labor of love. But... I haven't always appreciated these times...or moments in days past that seemed unimportant then, but I'd give anything now to have them back.

I wrote my little girl a letter - several pages long - telling her how daddy was an idiot to take all those moments for granted. Here's a little bit of it:

Happy Birthday to my amazing daughter, Mariana, who is 14 today.

I really wish I could have spent more time with you this last year. It's a shame how we take for granted the little moments we are given throughout the years. Moments we can never get back. 

I'm sorry for the little moments I wasted when you wanted to play video games with me, play outside or just talk. As adults we tell ourselves, there are more pressing matters, bills to deal with, and other so-called pressing daily issues. 

I'm sorry for my mistakes. All I care about now are the moments I lost with you. I promise I won't take any time God gives us in the future for granted. 

Love, your daddy

The Silence When The Kids Aren't Home

I can hear the clock ticking the seconds away. The clock, which normally hangs on a wall in my living room is on the floor, leaning against the wall.

It's so loud...or my apartment is just that quiet. What disturbs the tick, tocking? There's the sound of traffic along the nearby highway. Funny how there are no kids around making annoying pterodactyl noises because that's just the noise they want to make now. The traffic sounds are clearer. 

There goes a small airplane taking off from the nearby airport. Still the tick, tock of the clock coming from behind the lazy boy. 

Then a motorcycle in the distance revving up. But no annoying pterodactyl noises. And, still...the constant tick, tock.

Maybe, because there's nothing else that comes to mind, I'll check out Netflix. I know that there are dinosaur shows on Netflix. Maybe one with pterodactyls.

After all, that's the sound I want to hear right now more than anything.

Tick, tock. Tick, tock...